Boneheaded study vilifies vitamin C

Boneheaded study vilifies vitamin C

In a world that shoves fruits and vegetables down your throat almost as much as prescription drugs, this next headline isn’t one you see every day: “Grapefruit linked to cancer.”

According to the study, postmenopausal women who eat as little as one quarter of a grapefruit daily could be raising their risk of breast cancer by 30 percent. My God, do you realize the import of this? If this study is correct, the grapefruit could be the end of society as we know it. Think about it: If all women over 50 were to eat a whole grapefruit a day, 120 percent of them would die of cancer, which means, by my calculations, all of them–and then some.

What would our society do without grandmothers? Since most mothers are busy working to pay the taxes to fight our wars and global warming, grandmothers are more important today than they’ve ever been before. They’re absolutely essential to protect The Children from sex deviants, smokers, and vegetarians. (Hillary is not a sure thing for the presidency, you know)

All kidding aside, let’s peel apart the layers of this fruitcake study. What could possibly be so wrong with grapefruit? I can’t tell you– because the researchers themselves don’t know. Their “theory” is that grapefruit raises the levels of blood estrogen by reducing cytochrome CYP3A4, a chemical in the blood that metabolizes estrogen.

But even that theory is based on the wrong idea that estrogen is associated with breast cancer risk. Estrogen does raise a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer, but the problem isn’t natural hormones, it’s synthetic ones. Doctors have known for years that these pills, derived from horse urine, are carcinogenic, but the dollar signs in front of their eyes have clearly clouded their better judgment.

My advice: Don’t worry about grapefruit. If you happen to enjoy the tart, acidic flavor of this citrus fruit, eat as much of it as your taste buds can handle. You won’t be raising your breast cancer risk, but you will be feeding yourself a healthy dose of vitamin C, lycopene, and plenty of other nutrients that are the very things your body needs to fight against it.