The race for global destruction: Noxious gas vs. plain old hot air

The race for global destruction: Noxious gas vs. plain old hot air

On a lighter note-well, unless you buy into enviro-hoopla- Reuters reported a few months ago that “icy gas” may heat up global warming. Icy gas? What the heck is that? Isn’t that in the same category as wet flames and dry water? Anyway, this round of global warming hysteria came out just in time to go along with the scary (and juvenile) disaster movie, The Day After Tomorrow. There’s plenty of “icy gas” in that turkey.

It’s just plain silly, but bear with me a minute and read just a little of what the “pinnacles of science” are saying about these gaseous emissions:

“Rising temperatures could break down buried mixtures of water, methane and other gases-called gas hydrates-and release them into the atmosphere where they would trap the sun’s heat.  A big release of methane could speed up global warming far beyond the levels forecast in current models, upping the risk of floods, droughts and wildfires.”

Holy cow pie, The Day After Tomorrow might be tomorrow!

Consider the source

According to the Benfield Hazard Research Center, gas hydrates could be a “serious geohazard in the near future due to the adverse effects of global warming on the stability of gas hydrate deposits.”

Sure, it sounds ominous, but remember that this warning comes from the “Hazard Research Center.” If they don’t continue to find hazards, they are out of business.

So “geohazards” are popping up from all over (and under and within) our little universe. Methane is now getting as much attention as the dreaded carbon dioxide. “Methane is 21 times more powerful as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, the main gas blamed for driving up temperatures,” the Reuters report said. “Carbon dioxide is largely released from burning fossil fuels, from cars to factories.”

Here’s a little secret for you that Reuters didn’t report about the source of those noxious methane gases: They come from the precious animals that the EPA and the tree-hugging greenies spent all their time and energy trying to protect. All herbivorous animals-the four-legged vegetarians among us-expel humongous amounts of methane-containing intestinal gases. Cows are some of the worst offenders. All this cow-gas, along with politico-gas, scientist-gas, news-reporter-gas, and human-vegetarian-gas, have somehow gotten trapped and apparently frozen deep in the earth and, as the earth warms there will supposedly be an awesome methane explosion that will flood the earth.

So the lefty-greenies have manifested their own destiny by “saving the earth” one cow at a time. They’ve gone after the wrong targets all along. It’s not side-stream exhaust or side stream smoke that’s going to destroy the earth-it’s SIDE STREAM FLATUS that is going to melt the ice caps.

It’s actually quite funny when you think about it. Unfortunately, too many people are too uptight to see the humor in the situation.

In fact, the only sensible comment I have heard from this new round of “the sky is falling” propaganda came from George Bush’s close friend, Vladimir “Pootie” Putin, in Moscow who remarked (loosely translated, of course): “Hey, in Russia we could use a little warming.”

Action to take:

If this chicken little routine makes you nervous, maybe you should consider buying a water company on a hill and living on the top floor. If all this happens, we’ll be awash in seawater and you can’t drink that; it’s even worse than the fluoridated stuff that comes out of your home faucet.

You might also want to start a campaign for eliminating all automobiles, all trees (notorious emitters of CO2), all methane-producing animals (including humans, especially vegans), and humanoid politicians who produce massive amounts of methane gas, CO2 and just plain hot air.

Or you could just forget the whole thing. Relax, have a nice cigar, a little libation, and take enviro-hysteria reports like these for what the REALLY are: noise pollution.


“Thaw of icy gas may worsen global warming: Report,” Reuters News, 5/19/04