The dirty little secret vegetarians don’t want you to know

The dirty little secret vegetarians don’t want you to know

I do a good bit of Internet research each month when I’m planning topics for the issue, and I recently came across a website that has quickly become one of my new favorites. It’s called The Best Page in the Universe and is produced by a hilarious egomaniac referring to himself only as Maddox. Maddox is quite possibly the most opinionated man in the world (and that’s saying something coming from me). His opinions might be annoying if I didn’t agree with so many of them.

But what led me to this site in the first place was a search for some support against the latest anti-meat propaganda to hit the scene. Just when I thought we were making progress with this issue, the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health came out with a new recommendation to help us all kick what they still insist on believing is a nasty old habit of eating (and dare I say enjoying) meat. They’re calling their campaign “Meatless Mondays,” and it’s exactly what it sounds like–we’re not supposed to eat meat on Mondays, and apparently they want us to believe we’ll all be much healthier for it.

“Meatless Mondays” won’t help your health -or your conscience

With all the recent evidence supporting a high-fat, high-meat diet, this latest move was particularly maddening and sent me straight to work on a rebuttal. That’s when I came across Maddox’s thoughts on the subject. Here’s some of what he had to say:

“I was looking over a menu in a restaurant the other day when I saw a section for vegetarians; I thought to myself: ‘boy, I sure am glad I’m not a meat-hating fascist’ and I skipped on to the steak section (because I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay $15 for an alfalfa sandwich, slice of cucumber and a scoop of cold cottage cheese), but before I turned the page something caught my eye. The heading of the vegetarian section was titled ‘Guiltless Grill,’ not because there were menu items with fewer calories and cholesterol, but because none of the items used any animal products. Think about that phrase for a second. What exactly does ‘guiltless grill’ imply? So I’m supposed to feel guilty now if I eat meat?”

Yes, Mr. Maddox, that’s exactly what they mean. We are “slaughtering helpless animals” and “eating their dead carcasses.” And they want us to be ashamed of ourselves. But Maddox’s article went on to make a wonderful point that very few people have considered (I know I hadn’t).

These pompous pecksniffs known as vegetarians are selectively ignoring the fact that millions of small animals are killed every year by giant combines hacking their way through the soy and wheat fields that supply a vegetarian’s supposedly “guilt-free” food supply. Squashed and beheaded gray-tailed voles, beautiful skunks, cute squirrels, cuddly bunnies, and even an occasional Bambi are found in the wake of these killer machines.

Many vegetarians also pretend not to know that many parts of the United States use “control hunts” in which hunting permits are passed out whenever there is a “pest problem” interfering with wheat, soy, and other grain harvests vegetarians rely on for survival. And by “pest” they mean deer, elk, and antelope, which eat the crops in question.

All this murder and mayhem going on because of vegetarian diets, and their only defense is the old “we-don’t-do-it-on-purpose” argument. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that vegetarians are responsible for the slaughter of tens of millions of animals that they don’t even eat because they’re too “civilized.” So all those animals die for nothing and just rot, conveniently, in the fields –where the vegetarians don’t have to look at or smell them.

Vegetarianism kills 300 million more animals than a meat-eating diet

And just in case you think Maddox and I are off our rockers and “blaming” the “poor, innocent” vegetarians for something that isn’t their fault, consider the official research that’s been done on the subject:

Steven Davis, Ph.D., a University of Oregon professor, recently did a study on the bio-ethics of a vegan diet. (Vegan diets don’t include meat, dairy, or other animal products.) Using an idea called the Least Harm Principle, which measures how much harm an action will cause, Davis determined that a total vegan-based diet model would caused 300 million more animals to die than a model that relies on beef and plants (harvested by hand).

So now that they know their diet is killing innocent animals, it will be interesting to see how many vegetarians really care about the whole animal-rights issue and start gathering their own food by hand. Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. But I’m also not suggesting that we all start planting and harvesting our own vegetables to go along with our 24-oz. T-bones.

My point here is to put a spotlight on the hypocrisy that abounds in the vegetarian regime. They argue that their diet is best, and part of their reasoning lies in the claim that vegetarianism eliminates the “senseless and needless” deaths of animals.

That just isn’t true. And neither is the notion that a meatless diet is better for you.

Action to take:

In order to counter the grossly false supposition that meat is the enemy (and to get a good dig in regarding the ridiculous Meatless Monday campaign), I propose we all start our own public health campaign that will include the following:

Soyless Sundays

Muffinless Mondays

Tofuless Tuesdays

Waffleless Wednesdays

Twinkieless Thursdays

French-fryless Fridays


Spaghettiless Saturdays

Unlike “Meatless Mondays,” this program gets to the heart of the REAL food dangers and is guaranteed to keep you healthy and guilt-free. RH


“School Introduces National “Meatless Monday” Health Campaign,” Johns Hopkins School of Public Health (press release), 10/7/02

“Guiltless grill? Is there another kind?” The Best Page in the Universe (, 12/20/02

“OSU scientist questions the moral basis of a vegan diet,” Oregon State University Extension & Experiment Station (press release), 3/5/02

“The Least Harm Principle Suggests that Humans Should Eat Beef, Lamb, Dairy, not a Vegan Diet,” Proceedings of the Third Congress of the European Society for Agricultural and Food Ethics 2001: 449-450

“Veggie Tales: Can we really help ourselves, and our planet, by shunning meat and embracing our roots and vegetables?” TIME 2002; 160(3): 56